


Protection

by olivemartini



Category: Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Slash, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 16:45:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6432385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olivemartini/pseuds/olivemartini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He could have probably picked a lot of good times to announce that his father was going to let him get ripped apart by a giant praying mantis.<br/>This was not one of those times, but Kit did it anyways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Protection

He's not sure what made him say it. 

Honestly, if it hadn't been for the horrified look Ty was giving him, he wouldn't have been sure that he _did_ say it.  The words had been on the tip of his tongue so many times, clawing their way up his throat and resting uncomfortably in his mouth, forming a blockade that made it hard to say anything at all.  He had replayed countless scenarios over in his head- how he would even get on the subject, how he would try to make it sound better, if he would manage to keep Ty from seeing how much he was bothered by it.  But apparently his brain had taken a vacation, because those plans got thrown out the window in favor of blurting the words out in the middle of a perfectly fun training session. 

"I was going to die, and my dad wasn't willing to save me." 

It sounded even worse out loud than it did in his head.

It was the first time he had ever said anything about the night he came to the Institute.  Ty had been in the middle of showing him how to stand in order to get more power behind his throws, one hand on his shoulder and the other at his wrist.  He was too close, so close that Kit could feel the sharp intake of breath that had followed his announcement.  But now Ty was stepping back, checking his face as if to see if was joking, and he found that he didn't appreciate the distance put between them.  "What?"

"The thing, the Mantis demon, it was right in front of me.  It was going to tear me to shreds, and I looked over at my dad, because that's what you do when you're afraid and need someone to save you, you look to the ones who take care of you, but he was in his protection circle.  He gave me this look, like he was sorry, but he just stayed in there, too much of a coward to try and save his only child."  He was spitting out the words, anger staining every syllable.  "He wasn't much of a father, was he?"

Diana started towards them.  He had almost forgotten that anyone else was in the room, and felt the heat rise in his cheeks when he realized everyone was staring at him.  Julian was frozen in place, shirt dripping with sweat.  Dru and Livvy looked horrified, and Emma and Christina had paused in the middle of their sparring, seraph blades still locked together as they stared.  Even Mark, who normally didn't give him a second glance, had taken a break from his training to listen.  "Kit, I'm sure that's not true.  You're father loved you very much, he has to, he's your-,"  Diana stopped midsentence when he turned on her.

"By the angel, if you say he's my father like that should make it all okay, I'll break something."  There was a rage building in him, and he had never wanted to cry as much as he did now.  "That doesn't make it okay!  He didn't care.  I would have _died_ for him, he was the only one who cared about me, the only one I ever knew I could trust, and he was just going to stand by and watch as those things tore me limb from limb!"  He was sure that if this were a normal conversation, Ty would be correcting him right now, saying that the Mantis demons preferred way to kill their victims was disembowelment or something equally horrific.  "He stayed in his stupid circle even though he knew I had no clue what to do or where to go."  Without thinking, without caring, he ran from the room, pushing past Julian when he tried to stop him.

He might have been crying when Ty found him, but Kit wasn't sure.  Ty didn't say anything, but he did sit down beside him and lean against him.  Even though he tried not to be, Kit was aware of every point where their bodies touched.  "I was so scared, Ty."

"I would have been."

"I thought I was going to die."

"You were going to."

"And he was going to let me."

There was no answer to that one.  Apparently the truth was so bad that even Ty couldn't bring himself to acknowledge it.  "I know it doesn't matter.  His stupid magic didn't protect him in the end.  They tore him in two."  He had to gulp for air, and if it wasn't for Ty's grip on his hand, he was sure he would be able to trick himself into thinking he was back in that night, his father's blood on his face and demons crowded together until he couldn't see past them.  "But I just wish he would have tried.  That he would have cared enough to try and save me.  That he would have loved me enough to do that.  What parent doesn't love their kid enough to try and save them in a situation like that?" He wondered if his mom would have tried to save him, then decided that was pointless to think about.  "I wanted him to look at me and see something worth protecting."

Kit wasn't sure what saying this was going to accomplish, other than bringing back the nightmares that he had finally gotten rid of.  It wasn't like Ty was going to be able to make things better.  He was horrible in situations like this.  But he knew that even the slightest shred of comfort he got from him, no matter how misguided and wrong the attempt would be, would be worth ten times what any eloquent reassurance from Julian would be.  There wasn't anything anyone could say that would fix the cracks that night put in him. Ty was silent, searching for words Kit knew he would most likely never find.

"He should have tried to save you."

"I know."

"But Kit?"

Kit closed his eyes, titling his head back until it hit the wall with a thump.  He didn't want to hear that his dad was probably afraid, had probably been unable to think of anything to save him.  He didn't want anyone to make excuses.  Anger was a lot easier to deal with than pain.  "Yea, Ty?"

"You don't need protection anymore.  There's no need to be afraid anymore.  You can save yourself." 

It wasn't what he wanted to hear, but it was enough.  Kit gave a shaky laugh and walked away, making sure to squeeze Ty's hand to let him know he hadn't said anything wrong. He had made it to the door of the training room before Ty spoke again.  "Kit?" He didn't turn around.  He couldn't.  One look at his face and Ty would know he wasn't as okay as he was pretending to be.  "I know you don't need it, but if I ever got the chance to save you, I would.  No matter what."

It wouldn't change what happened that night.  It wouldn't bring his father back.  But they made him feel better than anything his father had ever said to him.  "You know what Ty?"  He didn't need to turn around to know that Ty would be messing with the hem of his shirt, doing anything to keep himself occupied during the pause between his words.  "I would save you, too."


End file.
